A Geek With Guns

I’m sure you’ve seen that blasted viral video talking about Joseph Kony. If you haven’t you’re lucky. Either way the entire thing is a scam that is attempting to justify bombing in Africa and the following video does an excellent job of explaining this fact (in the form of a rap news segment):

Since we killed Osama there’s been a hole in my stomach.

Sorry to hear that.

I miss him.

Why?

Because we desperately need a new dark skinned disney villan so we can justify defense budgets of trillions.

I’m not even sure what to make of this story:

Authorities in western New York say they’ve charged four young Amish adults with illegal possession of alcohol after their buggy collided with a police car responding to a report of a drinking party under way.

The Chautauqua County Sheriff’s Office tells media outlets that the crash occurred around 7:15 Sunday in the rural town of Sherman, near the Pennsylvania border in New York’s southwest corner.

First of all you can’t say a horse drawn buggy crashing into a car happens every day, I would think the horse would refuse to run into an object. Also:

Police say several other buggies fled the scene.

That’s just funny.

While I don’t give two shits about presidential endorsements I have to hand it to Oderus Urungus, he based his endorsement on his beliefs, not on who is or isn’t “electable”:

Do not vote for them, gather in mobs and attack them in their homes — drag them into the streets and impale them upon a gigantic wheel of over-sized knives, and this goes for Obama too!

I’d say he should watch out for the Department of Motherland Homeland Security (DHS) but I’m doubting they have what it takes to abduct Oderus.

I have to say when it comes to strikes I have all of them against me. Being a gun owner makes me unpopular in many circles, being a voluntaryist ostracizes me from most political circles, and being a metalhead leads to shit like this being funny to me (warning, not approved for the religiously sensitive):

The fact that I’m allowed out in public at all is a small miracle.

We all know getting cold medications with the active ingredient pseudoephedrine, like Sudafed, is a huge pain in the ass today but fortune has shined upon us as it is actually an easy to synthesize from N-methylamphetamine [PDF]:

A quick search of several neighborhoods of the United States revealed that while pseudoephedrine is difficult to obtain, N-methylamphetamine can be procured at almost any time on short notice and in quantities sufficient for synthesis of useful amounts of the desired material. Moreover, according to government maintained statistics, Nmethylmphetamine is becoming an increasingly attractive starting material for pseudoephedrine, as the availability of Nmethylmphetamine has remained high while prices have dropped and purity has increased [2]. We present here a convenient series of transformations using reagents which can be found in most well stocked organic chemistry laboratories to produce psuedoephedrine from N-methylamphetamine.

I love irony. A hat tip goes to Uncle for this handy guide.

I’ve been informed that my sense of humor is a bit… obscure:

Without looking it up I’m guess, at most, two people reading this post will get the joke. The image can also be found here.

Tennessee has a bill moving through their legislature being referred to as the “Don’t say gay” bill:

The House Education subcommittee approved the so-called “Don’t say gay” bill on a voice vote Wednesday, renewing a debate that roiled the legislature last spring over whether elementary and middle schools should be allowed to initiate discussions about homosexuality.

Now this abridgement to free speech simply isn’t enough. To attack the truth threat of homosexuality one man, district selectman from the 14^th district, has introduced a bill to make the act of giving children androgynous names illegal. He makes a very convincing case:

When his statistics go to five decimal places you know they’re accurate!

Talk about some top notch police work:

The junior officer, who has not been named, was monitoring an area hit by a series of burglaries in an unnamed market town in the country’s south.

As the probationary officer from Sussex Police searched for suspects, the camera operator radioed that he had seen someone “acting suspiciously” in the area.

But he failed to realise that it was actually the plain-clothed officer he was watching on the screen, according to details leaked to an industry magazine.

The operator directed the officer, who was on foot patrol, as he followed the “suspect” on camera last month, telling his colleague on the ground that he was “hot on his heels”.

The officer spent around 20 minutes giving chase before a sergeant came into the CCTV control room, recognised the “suspect” and laughed hysterically at the mistake.

There’s nothing like chasing yourself around for 20 minutes to give you a sense of accomplishment.

With all this concern over Iran building a nuclear weapon we should stop to see if Iran has any concerns. It seems they are a bit concerned about the United States building yet another nuclear weapon:

TEHRAN—Amidst mounting geopolitical tensions, Iranian officials said Wednesday they were increasingly concerned about the United States of America’s uranium-enrichment program, fearing the Western nation may soon be capable of producing its 8,500th nuclear weapon. “Our intelligence estimates indicate that, if it is allowed to progress with its aggressive nuclear program, the United States may soon possess its 8,500th atomic weapon capable of reaching Iran,” said Iranian foreign minister Ali Akbar Salehi, adding that Americans have the fuel, the facilities, and “everything they need” to manufacture even more weapons-grade fissile material.

I actually had to double check to make sure this was an Onion article and not a piece on a regular news site.